S and Harry

[0_0_7]

Bond had concluded his day early enough to stop at the market and was home before anyone else. He set about making a simple dinner of chicken and pasta to have it ready.

He'd been thinking of S all day. He understood the man had a troubled past, but there was no reason to hold it against him. Sometimes all a person needed was some support. No one could go it alone.

He'd just popped the garlic bread in the oven when he heard the door open.

"Oh, good. You're home. Come pick the wine, honey," he smiled at Harry.

Comments

[cuppa_q]

"Or perhaps your Q is a colder soul than you know," S countered holding Harry's gaze a beat, then looking at James.

"You're a pussycat, but it feels wrong," S told James, before looking at Harry. "I don't feel wrong when I tell you I'm selfish, or devious. If you're right and something has changed us, I worry it hasn't changed me so much as revealed the truth.

[0_0_7]

Bond's brows drew together. Felt wrong? How could this be wrong.

"I'll keep my hands to myself," he promised softly. "You shouldn't have to sleep on the sofa..."

[lepidopterologist]

"I'm sorry this is all so strange," Harry added after a moment. "But..." He was looking over James at S. "Whatever it is you think makes you not worthy, I can guarantee all of have our own unworthiness."

[cuppa_q]

"Tell me," S prompted simply and quietly.

[0_0_7]

Bond pressed back a bit tighter against Harry, dreading to hear what sort of man he might be in another life.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry hadn't actually expected that response, and he wasn't entirely prepared. He hesitated, and then after a moment said, "James and I are both killers. There's no way around it, really. And we lie, we cheat, we spy, we seduce." He glanced at James. "You rather more than me on that point, but you are exceptionally good at it."

[cuppa_q]

S wanted to ask about himself as well, but paused to see how James reacted to that.

[0_0_7]

"It sounds like I'm a terrible person, Harry," he replied quietly. "I don't want to kill anyone. I don't want any of what you're saying."

[lepidopterologist]

"You - he - is not a terrible person," Harry said, his tone just a touch sharp. Or rather, like he wanted to be very clear that he was serious about that statement. And then looked at the other man in the bed with them. "And neither are you. Whatever it is you've done that makes you think so."

[cuppa_q]

Harry seemed to really believe that. S wanted to believe it too.

Laying back down, the younger man seemed to settle in.

[0_0_7]

Thoughts of guns and violence rushed through his head and Bond lay very still, trying to fight the delightful flutter of joy at the thought of beating someone.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry settled back down too, with an arm around James again.

"And I know this might sound odd to you," he said quietly, "But you should know that I love you both. Very much."

[cuppa_q]

S wasn't sure he'd ever been loved, and wasn't sure what to say.

"Goodnight," he said finally. "...Thank you for sharing your bed."

[0_0_7]

"Goodnight, S," Bond replied and rolled carefully to face Harry. He'd he be sure then to keep his hands off the younger man and on the man he adored instead.

[lepidopterologist]

And though over time Harry had gotten over his insecurities about James, he still wasn't accustomed to him looking at him quite like that.

"Goodnight, James," he said softly, and closed his eyes before he was tempted to say anything else.

[cuppa_q]

S watched them both for a while, wondering what odd path could have possibly led him here. How many lies had he told to earn a place here?

Eventually he drifted off into a fitful sleep.

[0_0_7]

Bond was still and quiet until S's breathing evened out and he was sure he was asleep.

Then he moved in to kiss Harry, needing a bit of reassurance before he could sleep.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry accepted the kiss, and then, hoping it would help - and because it was true - said softly, "I do love you," before drifting off to sleep.

[cuppa_q]

It was early when Q woke, the day before feeling a bit like a dream. Perhaps even more so since he woke up on the edge of the bed rather than his preferred spot in the middle.

Silently, he got up and went to feed the cats.

[0_0_7]

Bond woke abruptly and everything tumbled neatly into place. The reality of today. The nonsense of yesterday. The reason he was curled like a baby against Harry's chest.

"Oh, for God's sake," he grumbled and crawled out of bed.

[lepidopterologist]

kJames getting up jostled Harry and he woke slowly, having somehow slept deeply the night before. He blinked awake, and looked over at James.

"... James?"

[0_0_7]

"Good morning, Harry," he said, a bit more tightly than usual. He looked around for Q, hoping he was feeling himself.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry knew immediately. His stance, the tone of his voice.

"... you're back I see."

[cuppa_q]

Q wandered back into the bedroom, looking disheveled and holding a cup of tea.

He still wasn't sure if he'd been dreaming.

[0_0_7]

Bond grunted in disgust and pulled off the pajamas shirt. Everything came back to him and he looked to Harry.

"I'm fine. Honey," he said tightly, his lips a thin line.