Q

[0_0_7]

His first leg of China had been warm. He'd landed in Hong Kong and had enjoyed the warm air, but soon enough he got to work and the weather wa the last thing on his mind. He'd broken into the facility without incident but before he could complete the mission half the Chinese army, it seemed, came down on him. Caught red-handed all Britain could do was disavow knowledge and leave Bond to his fate.

Bu M was a better man than that and three days later Bond was being covertly traded. The double o was in much worse shape than the man he was traded for. They did try to clean the blood off on the plane and by the time he landed in medical Bond had been triaged and was being examined.

M made the call to not tell Q right away even though he knew the boffin was going out of his mind waiting. Bond needed to be examined and debriefed and when they had some answers it was Moneypenny who came to Q to break the news.

"You've got to understand, Q...this may be the end of him. He may not come back from this. It's his mind, you see..."

Comments

[0_0_7]

Bond sipped his tea and then picked up the packet again. He shook out a cigarette and lit it. He was smoking to much, mostly because he wasn't drinking at all.

"I love you. That is one of the only things I do know. The only thing that's really concrete. I love you, I love England, and I love my job. In that order," he said. "And I'm afraid I've lost two of those."

[quartermaster_q]

"You don't know that yet," Q said softly, wanting to comfort him. "Though if you have, I promise, you'll never lose me, Bond."

[0_0_7]

For that he was grateful, but it didn't soothe him. Not really. He knew who he was and yet he felt he'd lost himself.

Bond took a drag, smoke clouding his face and obscuring him for a moment.

"What I'd give to know why I feel the way I do..."

[quartermaster_q]

"I wish I could fix it for you, James," Q said softly. "Truly. I'll do everything I can to help you."

[0_0_7]

"I think before we worry about fixing me, I'd like to know if I have a target on my back," Bond said. "We're assuming I do...but is it true? Would M do that?"

[quartermaster_q]

"I don't know," Q said honestly. "I'd like to think M would defend us both, but-"

He sighed a little and took Bond's cigarette. "The signal strength isn't strong enough, but I'll get it boosted and tap into the system tonight to see if they're looking for us, of if M has managed to give us some time to get this sorted."

[0_0_7]

"I have to say, I'm a bit surprised Moneypenny hasn't found us. She seems to know where you are at all times," Bond said, looking a bit put out that Q had taken the cigarette, but he didn't protest.

[quartermaster_q]

"She helped me set this all up," Q admitted quietly, taking a long pull off Bond's cigarette. "She was the only person I trusted enough to include. She promised to only make contact if she thought six were closing in on us."

[0_0_7]

"Then I take it as a good sign she hasn't," Bond said softly. "Q...you can still go back. It might not be too late. I an't ask you to walk away from your entire life. Everything you've built..."

[quartermaster_q]

"You're a fool if you think anything matters more to me than being with you," the young Quartermaster frowned, holding out the cigarette in offering.

[0_0_7]

"I'd like to think I'm not a fool," Bond smirked, his speech light and teasing though the look in his eyes was serious.

"I'll make every day worth it," he promised. "If you choose me I'll see to it that it was the righ choice."

[quartermaster_q]

Q smiled softly, then leaned in and kissed the corner of Bond's lips.

"I have never loved anyone the way I love you, Bond."

[0_0_7]

Bond was quick and he caught hold of Q to keep him close. He returned the kiss, a soft press of his lips and a slow breath of satisfaction. And fear. A healthy dose of fear that Q would be the starting point of his life from now on.

Would that be so bad? No pat. No baggage. He could start fresh and be free. Free as a man could be on the run, anyway.

[quartermaster_q]

Q could feel the desperation in Bond's kiss, and he pulled away slowly to look the other man in the eyes.

"Everything's going to be alright," he promised. "If we have to start a new life, we will. I can't promise your memory will return, but I can promise I will always be there for you."

[0_0_7]

"I think maybe we should go for that walk," Bond said, shutting down any further conversation about his condition. It would do no good to dwell on it.

[quartermaster_q]

"Alright, love," Q agreed, stubbing out the cigarette and getting to his feet as he offered Bond in his hand.

[0_0_7]

Bond walked with him to the bed so h could sit and get dressed in something other than the pyjamas he'd been living in. Trousers felt good, as did the clean shirt. The shoes were a bit difficult but he managed to get them on. Then he was ready to go.

"Where are we, anyway?" he asked. "The woods, clearly, but where?"

[quartermaster_q]

"Bedfordshire, not far from the Potton Woods," Q said holding Bond's arm as they headed outside.

[0_0_7]

If he'd ever been, it was a mystery to him. Bond took in he scenery and the feeling of Q's arm in his and he smiled.

"It's almost as if we could pretend we were on holiday," he said. In the week that had passed the swelling around his eye had abated and he could see out of both. It made looking at the trees and wildlife all the better.

[quartermaster_q]

"If you like- But I think we both know you'll not be able to let this go," Q said with a soft smile.

[0_0_7]

Bond sighed. "No. No, I can't. But how will I know if I'm memorizing iles or if I'm getting actual memory back? This is something I've never done- to my knowledge- so I'm in the dark."

[quartermaster_q]

"I don't know- Perhaps you ought to see someone. A doctor, I mean- One you could trust. Perhaps we could invite Hannibal out here to see you," Q suggested quietly.

[0_0_7]

"I'd trust him," Bond nodded. "And I think that might help. Yes...yes, let's do that. Can you contact him?"

[quartermaster_q]

"No, I'll secure the line, but you should reach out to him- I think it might do you some good to take a bit of control back," Q said honestly.

[0_0_7]

"I'll do it," Bond promised. HIs boots crunched in the snow, but then he stopped altogether and looked around. Up. Behind them. And when he was sure it was just the two of them and the birds he pulled Q in. He kissed him lightly, but more importantly he embraced him and held him close.

"I love you."