Q

[0_0_7]

His first leg of China had been warm. He'd landed in Hong Kong and had enjoyed the warm air, but soon enough he got to work and the weather wa the last thing on his mind. He'd broken into the facility without incident but before he could complete the mission half the Chinese army, it seemed, came down on him. Caught red-handed all Britain could do was disavow knowledge and leave Bond to his fate.

Bu M was a better man than that and three days later Bond was being covertly traded. The double o was in much worse shape than the man he was traded for. They did try to clean the blood off on the plane and by the time he landed in medical Bond had been triaged and was being examined.

M made the call to not tell Q right away even though he knew the boffin was going out of his mind waiting. Bond needed to be examined and debriefed and when they had some answers it was Moneypenny who came to Q to break the news.

"You've got to understand, Q...this may be the end of him. He may not come back from this. It's his mind, you see..."

Comments

[0_0_7]

"Are you sure you want to do this, Q?" Bond asked quietly. "I made light but...it isn't pretty. The Chinese were...unforgiving," he said. Q had to know the extent of the damage. It was good Six had gotten him out when they did. Bond had been sure that he'd meet his end in that prison.

[quartermaster_q]

"You never shied away from me after Paris," Q said softly. "I'll not shy away from this."

[0_0_7]

"You are an amazing man," Bond said softly. "I hope you managed to get some pain killers. And cranberry juice...they were making me drink that as much as I could hold."

[quartermaster_q]

"I've got pain medication- I'll make a call and see if the man I pay to take care of this place is willing to fetch us some groceries. The less we're seen, the better," Q replied, starting to remove Bond's gown, and not letting his feelings show as he took in the state of the man he loved.

"I'll text him now, while I fetch a flannel and a bucket. For now, you'll just have to settle for water," he said, offering bond a sealed bottle from his bag as he got to his feet.

[0_0_7]

Bond took the water and sipped it, then put it aside. He watched Q for a moment, then shook his head slowly.

"You're going to get yourself sacked, you know. They don't just let you steal double-o's," he said, trying to make light of it.

[quartermaster_q]

"I know," Q replied quietly, sending the text, then filling a small metal bucket with water and fetching a clean cloth.

"You need the job more than I do- And I need you too much to let anything happen to you," he confessed, looking upset for a moment, then pushing his feelings back down as he settled on the edge of the bed and began to clean the other man's wounds and change his bandages.

[0_0_7]

Bond was quiet and stoic as Q saw to his injuries. It hurt, but everything hurt so Q's attention was nothing to be bothered by. He only winced once and soon enough he was cleaned and put back together.

"You do know that most of the next week I'll be sleeping," he said. "I don't know what you've got in mind for my memory, but I'll do anything you suggest."

[quartermaster_q]

"I don't know," Q confessed, helping Bond pull on pyjamas. "For now I just want you to rest, alright? Right now my only priority is getting you mended."

He started to rise, ready to leave Bond to sleep, but as he stood he broke down a little, his shoulders shaking and head slightly ducked.

I thought you were dead.

The words were there, on the tip of his tongue- But he swallowed them down and got to his feet.

"Sleep. I'll wake you when it's time to take your painkillers."

[0_0_7]

Bond drifted off peacefully enough, sleeping better than he had with the beeping machines in Six's medical. The medication helped him slumber, but soon enough the dreams came and without warning he had shot out of bed, fought his way out of the blankets, and his blue eye was wild as he searched for the foes who had come after him in his dream.

[quartermaster_q]

Q was sitting on a small ratty sofa, cigarette between his lips and laptop on his knee.

He jumped a bit when Bond shot out of bed, heart fluttering nervously as he stubbed out his cigarette and got to his feet.

"It's all right, double-o seven. Just a bad dream, hmm?" he said softly. "Here, I'll get you some juice and your pills. We've got groceries now- I could make you some broth," he offered quietly.

[0_0_7]

His heart was thrumming hard and fast and sweat beaded his hairline. But Q's voice- that bloody perfect voice- cut through the fog and he eased himself back down onto the bed.

"Yes," he said. "Broth and a pill, I think. And tea? That seems like a good idea. And...Q, would you lay with me?"

He reached for the man's hand and held on tightly.

"I know you. I'm certain I know you. Please stay with me..."

[quartermaster_q]

Q hesitated. He loved James, but he had to admit- A small part of him was afraid. ...Afraid Bond would panic and do some real damage.

Wetting his lips, Q nodded a little. "Yes, alright. Here, for now let's get you moved onto the sofa. I think it'll do you good to sit up for a bit, maybe move around just a little," he said gently, moving to help the other man over to the ratty couch.

"Settle in and I'll bring you tea and your pills, then I'll get the broth on the stove."

[0_0_7]

That was more than enough to make him happy and Bond got up to move. He settled in on the sofa with his pillow and blanket about the time Q brought him his pill. He swallowed it, always happy to down something to quell the near constant pain he felt. And these were potent. The bitter taste of it lingered on his tongue as he sipped his tea and watched Q cook.

"Have you secured our money in case we can never go back?" he asked.

[quartermaster_q]

"Yes. I didn't touch your accounts, but I've made certain we have more than enough tucked away in an offshore account- And I've got plenty of cash still tucked away from- Well, my time before six."

The broth simmered, and Q took it off the heat and filled a bowl.

"Here you are," he said softly, pulling over a small table and putting the food down.

He looked tense though, and while Bond sat, Q lit another cigarette and paced slowly, lingering by the window and looking out at the thick forest of trees.

[0_0_7]

"What are you nervous about, Q?" Bond asked, too drugged to be upset, though still lucid enough for a conversation. "You don't think M's going to send in special ops, do you?"

[quartermaster_q]

"No," Q replied, scoffing at the idea that six could find him if he didn't want to be found. "I'm fine, Bond. I'm not afraid of them. I'm afraid of many things, but not them."

He took a long pull on his cigarette, then turned to look at James.

"Eat, then I'll help you back into bed. I think the next few days will be very much more the same. You need to rest. You need to heal."

[0_0_7]

"I need to know why you're chain smoking and why you're barely looking at me," he said. There was a weighty pause. "Are you disappointed in me because I failed the mission?"

[quartermaster_q]

"What would make you think that? My priority, Bond, isn't the mission, isn't six, it's you. It's been you from the moment we first kissed. Don't be so bloody..."

He cut himself off and shook his head.

"It's not you. It's just- For the first time in so long, everything was so good. Happiness wasn't just obtainable, it was mine, ours, and now... It's not you. It's six. I had something wonderful, and then they sent you off and ruined everything. I should tear them apart for this. I should push the right buttons and watch England fall. It would serve M right. ...Serve them all right."

[0_0_7]

At that, Bond got to his feet carefully. He felt soft and expansive, certainly in no pain. Not really. He crossed the distance and caught hold of Q.

"You will not. You will not punish England because I did my job. Punish China if you need to lash out, but it wasn't Six. It wasn't M. And...I'm alive, Q. I'm here. We are happy, hmm? Right? Injured, but I'll heal. Please...please, Q..."

[quartermaster_q]

"Will you? Are we?" Q argued. "You might not ever get your memory back, Bond- Six may have very well already washed their hands of both of us. Are you happy right now? Bruised, beaten, in a bloody shack? Are you happy, Bond? Because I'm not. I'm furious."

[0_0_7]

Bond stroked his cheek and met Q's eye with his own. There was so much rage in the young man but Bond...couldn't do it. M had told him he'd come back from the dead in Morocco, in North Korea, in Russia. He seemed to excel at resurrection but for Bond this was the first time, the only time, and he was only happy to be alive.

"I'm so sorry, Q," he said softly. "But I am. I'm happy. I'm ecstatic. I thought I was going to die in a Chinese shit hole and now I'm here with you. I'm delirious."

[quartermaster_q]

Q's face crumpled, but he nodded a little as he slipped his arm around Bond and rested his forehead against the other man's.

"I love you. I thought you were gone, and- It was as though my whole world shattered. I kept searching, I had to keep searching, because I had to bring you home."

And if he'd failed, he wasn't certain what he'd have done.

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't keep you safe."

[0_0_7]

Without a word, Bond sought his lips to kiss him tenderly. There was force in him, no fire. Only need and a desperation in his breath.

Bond kissed him and held him, held him just a bit tighter.

"I love you. It's not your fault," he finally said.

[quartermaster_q]

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so emotional... I'm sorry. Finish your food and I'll help you get settled back in bed," he said quietly, kissing Bond's forehead, then letting go and putting out his cigarette.

"I'll stop pacing, and we'll lay down. ...I want you to rest."

[0_0_7]

Bond was compliant mostly because he was so heavily drugged. He sat and slurped his broth, then offered the bowl to Oberon when the cat jumped up to see if there was anything for him. He took a lick to taste and then lapped up the dregs of the broth from Bond's bowl.

Bond clearly saw nothing wrong with this arrangement.